


Say You Love Me (Kaneki Ken x Reader One Shot)

by ThatGinjahNinja



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, General fiction, Literature, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 08:20:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5085295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatGinjahNinja/pseuds/ThatGinjahNinja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alone and seeking comfort, both reader-chan and Kaneki find release...but now reader wants more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say You Love Me (Kaneki Ken x Reader One Shot)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second in my series of song based one-shots and my first Kaneki Ken fanfiction.  
> My first song one-shot was [You Need (Sebastian x Reader One Shot)](http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/549865042) 
> 
>  
> 
> Song - Say You Love Me  
> Artist - Jessie Ware  
> Fandom - Tokyo Ghoul  
> Character - Kaneki Ken
> 
>  
> 
> *The picture is a screen grab.
> 
> Listen here for mood music:: [](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/DAMM8JVbr8g)[youtu.be/DAMM8JVbr8g](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/DAMM8JVbr8g)
> 
> Don't forget to comment plz.

Listen here for mood music that inspired the piece:: [youtu.be/DAMM8JVbr8g](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://youtu.be/DAMM8JVbr8g)  
Say You Love Me -Jessie Ware

(If the link doesn't work, go to the description part.)

The two of you had fallen into bed with one another weeks ago and had continued the secret trysts nearly every day since. It began as an immense stress relief, but recently you had been feeling like there might be something more, something worth exploring. You didn't hold much hope that things could just advance normally between the two of you and so you had given him an ultimatum. If Kaneki really wanted to continue seeing you, he needed to tell you to your face what he was feeling. Otherwise, this was the last night you would spend with your tortured lover. Your own feelings had become too much to watch someone you care about refuse to put forth any effort. He hadn't been able to admit to anything. You had predicted this was exactly how things would play out, but it hurt nonetheless. His pain-filled eyes stared into yours one last time before he grabbed his black jacket and closed your door behind him. You stared blankly at the shut door that signaled the end of everything that could have happened between you and his uniquely beautiful soul. ========================================== The first time you had seen Kaneki, he had swooped in to drag you away from your school friend being devoured by one of those disgusting ghouls you had always heard about. Too shocked to even look at who pulled you from the scene, your (e/c) eyes were fixed in horror at your screeching classmate. It was like a car wreck that you couldn't look away from and you shook uncontrollably as something black deposited you in a nearby abandoned building. Something brilliantly red flashed behind you back down to the awful mess with you friend. You stood at the window straining to see what was happening. Pushing your (h/c) hair away from your eyes, you witnessed a boy...no, a ghoul...dressed in black, a mess of white hair, red kagune (you would later learn) whipping wildly about him. He confronted the first ghoul and you couldn't understand what they argued over, but a massive fight began. Making quick work of the monster that had eaten your friend alive, it seemed your "savior" had knelt down and pulled something from your dead classmate. When you saw the one red eye turn to look back where he had left you, fear gripped your heart as you beheld a terrifying mask. Ducking back in the window and crouching into a trembling ball you realized you would soon be dead. The ghoul would eat you the same as his fellow had eaten your poor friend. You squeezed your eyes shut as you heard footsteps land inside the room and walk forward. Waiting to be devoured, you tried to find something else to focus on, until you realized nothing was happening. You cracked your (e/c) eyes open and saw the terrifying figure standing feet from you, waiting patiently for you to get up. Seeing a thin young man, with no sign of a ghoul's glowing red eye, you suddenly felt emboldened enough to meet his gaze. "This was yours?" he asked. His long slender fingers, blackened at the nails, tried to place something in your hand. Looking at what fell to the floor in front of you, you saw the golden chain of your favorite locket necklace that the attacking ghoul had used to try to strangle you. You had been wearing it during the late evening study session at the campus library, before you and your girlfriend made the nightly walk to your off campus apartments together. Your brave friend jumped in front of you and snatched you free of the binding chain, just as the monster's kagune had been about to pierce your flesh. Instead your friend had died in your place at the same instant you were pulled far from her by Kaneki. This pale ghoul offering you the reminder of your uselessness filled you with rage. "How dare you!?" you screamed, as you began to beat him about the head and blood soaked body. "You're one of them! You're one of those monsters!" you shrieked, continuing your attack, growing increasingly angry as he stood still, making no motion to stop you. "I won't let you eat me!" you shouted, snatching his horrifying ghoul mask from his face. His eyes grew wide as he shot his hand to cover his newly revealed features. Finally, he grew angry and grabbed both of your wrists forcefully, as if they might as well have been straws, demonstrating just how easily he could have stopped you if he had wanted to hurt you. "You're one of them! You're disgusting! Don't touch me!" you cried again. The jerking caused both of you to topple to the ground, with you landing on top of him to continue your onslaught. He grabbed your wrists once more, and flipped the two of you over so that he now straddled you. Frustration on his face, he shouted, "I saved you, damn it!" Wrenching a hand free of his grasp, you smacked him harshly across the face. "Who asked you to?!" you demanded. His features froze in shock, and both of you stopped struggling as you took in the meaning of your words. He looked at you with some strange mix of pity and empathy. Hot, furious tears streamed down your face, "She was my friend! She shouldn't have died. It should have been me! I couldn't even do anything to keep her from suffering! She has a family to miss her! It should have been me! Why did she do that? Why didn't you let me be killed with her?" You were quickly silenced by his lips crashing into yours. Not at all interested in stopping his action, desperate to feel the life you had nearly lost, you hungrily kissed him back, plunging your hands in his snowy white hair. You felt excitement at the stiffness he was pressing against your body and found yourself grinding against it. He undid his pants and watched your face intently, looking for you to stop him. You pushed down at his waistband, and he slipped his hand under your uniform skirt, quickly discarding your underwear before sliding himself into you.

What followed was raw animal passion. It was filthy and feral and lustful. And it was exactly what the pair of you had needed. After taking you safely to your apartment, Kaneki came again the next day...and the next. _Knock! Knock! Knock!_ he would pound on your door. You would crack it open and sneer, "Now what do you want?" and he would push his way in and take you for hours before leaving again in the night. Again and again the two of you followed this pattern, barely speaking. Occasionally, he would drop his guard enough to talk with you afterwards, but it was clear the two of you satisfied a need in one another to feel anything besides alone. It wasn't t something that you expected to become deeper, until yesterday.   _Knock! Knock! Knock!_ It was the same loud familiar pattern, but it was slower. Cracking the door, you began with your usual, "Now what do-" but stopped short when you saw his face. He stood beaten and bruised, anguished look in his striking gray eyes, a great deal of blood around his mouth, and you were sure that most of it did not belong to him. You opened the door fully and pulled him inside. "What happened?" you questioned. He silently walked to the couch and sat down, still seeming dazed. You brought a cloth to him to clean off his face. When he finished with it, you took it to the hamper by the bedroom. Kaneki grabbed you from behind and forced you back against the bed, awkwardly trying to initiate your familiar routine. "Hey!" you shouted and pushed him off of you. The two of you sat uncomfortably at the edge of the bed. He seemed almost like a different person, like a man who had lost everything and didn't know what to do next. He looked pitifully alone in the world. "Kaneki?" you prompted again, resting your hand on his knee. "It'll be all right. Just tell me what's happened?" It seemed as if he had broken at the probing words. He began to hyperventilate and sob violently, muttering to himself and clutching his head in his hands. It wrecked you to see the detached man you'd been in bed with all this time, suddenly displaying such strong emotion. You clutched him to your chest and let him sob while trying to assure him that whatever it was would be all right. You stroked his soft hair and lay him back on your bed and the two of you stayed like that until you both opened your eyes and realized it was morning. There was a different look in Kaneki's eye that morning as he gazed at you lying next to him. If it had been another man, you might have described the look as one you give to someone whom you had deep feelings towards. He seemed like someone thinking too hard over something that came naturally and easily for others. Something about the way he was watching you made your heart flutter. Propping himself on his elbow, he tried figuring you out before asking, "Why would you do this for me?" Giving him a puzzled look, you propped on your own elbow, questioning back, "Do what? Let you sleep here?" He shook his head slowly. "I know how I must have looked. I know how I acted and how I offended you. Why did you still accept me? Why did you let me in?” His eyes searched yours for the answer and you knew his questions were not only referring to the previous night.

His sudden need for honesty took you by surprise. You had assumed it had been just about sexual relief for the both of you, especially him. At least, that was the way it had seemed he wanted it, and that had suited you fine. Until recently, that is, when you began to find him to more and more fascinating and charming in the few conversations he allowed. Sometimes you found yourself wondering what it would be like to really get to know him. Shaken by his direct questions, you asked, “Why did I let you into my life that day?”

“Mm-hm,” he nodded. “I'm not even human now. You said it yourself. I’m one of them. I’m a disgusting monster. Why do you let me see you at all? Are you afraid to make me stop?” he added the last part as if he was worried and disgusted with himself at the same time.

You frowned deeply at the man that lay in front of you. “Afraid of you?” you asked incredulously. “What kind of bullshit question is that? Does it feel like I’m afraid of you right now? Or all the times I've let you satisfy me?”

He shook his head gradually, “I suppose it doesn’t, but that’s only because you don’t know who I really am…what kind of monster is inside of me. You don't know that if I continue to see you I'll be responsible for your death.” You furrowed your brows at his claim. He was a ghoul, you were completely aware of that, but you weren't afraid for an instant that he would harm you. You felt he took too much blame for things that were based on chance onto his own shoulders.

“You may not have wanted me to know, but I see what’s inside of you and it isn’t a monster. You’re lost. You don’t have anyone. You probably forced them all away, didn't you? Treating them the way you're treating me right now, like helpless babes that can't make their own decisions? You push them out, but you’re afraid to be alone,” you said bluntly, not caring that it muddled his already disturbed sense of self.

He sat up abruptly, wounded by your accurate assessment, but rejecting the idea that he wasn't acting in the best interest of the people in his life, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I have to stay away. I have to fight. I can't be weak if I want to save my friends. I have to kill so I can protect the people I care about, so they don't have to become a monster like me.”

“You’re right. I don’t know what you have to do, but I do know you’re lonely. What good is protecting people you care about if you still end up all alone? How are you supposed to have anyone in your life, if you won’t even be willing to try, Kaneki?”

“I can’t. My friends need someone strong more than they need just Kaneki Ken,” he responded. It infuriated you that he was being so self-sacrificing for all the wrong reasons. "You want me to accept my weak humanity again, and I can't put anyone at risk like that."

“Stop being so damn condescending! Things aren't always black and white like that, Kaneki! I have never asked for your protection! I don’t want that from you!” you shouted, frustrated that he had even made this into an argument in the first place. This wasn't supposed to be complicated.

“What do you want?” he asked calmly. It grated on your nerves that he could disengage his emotions so quickly, that he could turn off his passion like a flipped switch.

“I-“ you considered the words you were about to say. It wasn’t even something you had been sure of until that moment. “I want fire,' you began, knowing it was a tall order, "I want passion. I don't want you to come in here anymore like it doesn't mean something when it obviously does or we wouldn't even be having this conversation. I want you to tell me to my face that you want me. That’s all it takes, Kaneki. I want you to just try.”

“That’s too much for you to ask of me!” he said, voice pained by your ultimatum. He knew he had pressured you into saying it because he did this to himself every time. "I can't. I can't be human now," he repeated.

You looked away from him to the wall. “It looks as if we might be running out of words to say to each other,” you said lowly, disappointed but not surprised. Standing to leave you in peace and collect his thoughts, he paused as he heard you speak again.

Softly you implored, “Won’t you stay?”

Turning to face you, his eyes were a mix of anxiety and yearning. He fought with himself that leaving was the safest move. It was the easiest way to keep himself from forming feelings for anyone else. The fight in him was short-lived as you asked once more, “Kaneki? Stay?”

He moved towards you, hands bracing himself on either side of you on your mattress, and for the first time since you had met the ghoul, he placed his lips lightly to yours, his full lower lip delicately parting your mouth, savoring an emotional, human connection the two of you had yet to explore. 

_ _

> _ _
> 
> ##### 
> 
> _ “Slowly, Slowly _
> 
> _ You unfold me, _
> 
> _ But do you know me at all. _
> 
> _ I don’t want to fall in love, _
> 
> _ If you don’t want to try. _
> 
> _ All that I’ve been thinking of _
> 
> _ Is maybe that you might…” _
> 
> _ _

_ _

__

After the most magnetically charged, significantly intimate sex of your life, you lay on your bed hardly able to think. Kaneki, however, returned to feeling too overwhelmed to stay. He felt the ghoul part of him dim slightly and was terrified that he would return to being helpless. As he dressed, he offered hollow apologies and repeated again that trying to build something more just wasn’t in him as he lived now.

You didn’t try to stop him anymore. He was free to go. You had told him what you needed from him and he was unwilling. You sat staring at the closed door for several minutes, mourning what could have been something really special in your life. Standing and walking to your kitchen to fix yourself a drink, you thought about what a waste it was that the lonely man didn't even want to think of himself as more than a monster. The two of you might have been able to find happiness, if he had only been willing to try.

Softly you heard _Knock! Knock! Knock!_ and you felt a burning flame of passion fill you to the bone as Kaneki’s voice called your name, begging you to open the door.


End file.
